Desperate
by Negotiatrix
Summary: Bored and lonely when Saitou is away, Tokio finds herself playing a dangerous game.


Disclaimer: This is a fan-created, non-profit work and not affiliated in any way with owners, writers, producers or creators of the anime Rurouni Kenshin.

Refresher: Hajime Saito lives in Tokyo under the name Goro Fujita. His wife is Tokio and his boss at the police department is Toshiyoshi Kawaji. We first see Commissioner Kawaji in episode 30 of the anime when he interrupts the fight between Saito and Kenshin/Battousai. Tokio is mentioned, but never shown in the anime.

For a screencap of Toshi and more about him, see my LJ entry dated March 22, 2007 here: http(colon)(slash)(slash)negotiatrix(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)7827(dot)html

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DESPERATE 

'She certainly is a fine woman,' he thought to himself, not for the first time. His dark eyes followed Tokio as she rose and left the room. He could hardly be blamed if his gaze lingered on the curve of her hips or the graceful line of her neck. He always admired beauty. A moment later Tokio returned with a tea tray and knelt gracefully across the table from him.

He studied her delicate movements as she arranged the tea cups. Noticing his gaze, she paused and smiled at him innocently. He felt a twinge of guilt for what he wanted from her. Still, he was only a man like any other and she seemed to have forgotten that fact. He was tired of being dangled on a string while she vacillated about her intentions and desires. It was past time for her to come to a decision.

"Goro won't be home till late this evening, will he?" he asked. The words dropped like stones between them and Tokio's smile died. There was a slight, sarcastic emphasis in his question that she had not missed. Hands stilled over the tea pot, she wondered what to say for a long moment. Then Toshi stood.

Unaccustomed to seeing him from such a disadvantageous position, Tokio had to crane her neck to look up at him in confusion. He wasn't as tall as her husband and he was older. Somehow she had come to think of him as weaker as well. As harmless. It was a mistake.

Toshi moved around the table to stand over her. The set of his shoulders and his hard face reminded her that, like Goro, he had been a warrior not so long ago.

He bent down and pulled her roughly to her feet and against his chest. Being nearly of the same height, Toshi's face was close above her own. There was no mistaking the intent in his smoky eyes.

He dipped his head and spoke softly, "He is very busy, isn't he? You are left all alone again, aren't you, Tokio?" Then his lips took hers in a kiss as harsh as it was passionate and she realized she had badly underestimated this man.

_She hadn't always been like this. Back in exile in Aomori her life had been so different. Life up there at the top of Honshu island was harsh even in summer, but winters had been especially brutal. Winds from the north blew continually and rattled the shutters of the little house she and Goro shared with another exile family. Their days were taken up by the hard labor required just to keep supplied with the essentials of living. The long nights were spent wrapped around each other for warmth and companionship and love. _

Here in Tokyo she went to sleep alone. Many mornings he wasn't there at all; out of town on some mission for the government. Some mornings she would wake with Goro beside her, but on a separate futon. He said he didn't want to disturb her sleep when he came in late from work. She still remembered the times when they had enjoyed waking each other in the night.

There were other women in the neighborhood who lived similar lives. Their husbands worked for the government or one of the foreign companies and kept late hours. There was even the family of a manager for a British company on their street, the Smythes.

It was Mrs. Smythe who had first suggested to Tokio that they form a music club. The idea had caught on and now each week there was a meeting where a dozen or so guests would perform and listen to various types of music, both Japanese and foreign.

Toshiyoshi Kawaji had been invited to join by one of the other women because of his exceptional singing voice. He was charming and popular with all the ladies but he quickly formed a flirtatious friendship with Tokio. She reveled in the heady feeling of attracting a man's attention again.

She even told herself that she was helping Goro by being friendly with his superior. Commissioner Kawaji's position meant long hours as well, but he could choose them himself. He began to arrange them around opportunities to be with Tokio.

_This afternoon, as she walked home from the Music Society meeting there had been other women going her the same direction. Toshi offered to escort them all. As they proceeded, each woman had turned down her own street until it was only herself and Toshi left walking together. When she reached her own home it seemed natural to invite him in for dinner as thanks. _

Now the moment she had carelessly invited was upon her. There was no explaining away what she was doing, what they were doing together. Yes, Toshi had been here before, but always in the company of others. He had even been invited to dinner by Goro. This time however, they were alone.

Toshi's arms tightened around her and she could almost imagine it was Goro whose strong hands caressed her instead. It was really Goro that she desired, not this man who held her she realized. All this time it was really Goro that she pretended was listening to her, laughing with her, and now even kissing her. She turned her head and tried to blink back the hot tears of shame, but they flowed down and dripped onto her kimono anyway. Noticing the change, Toshi pulled back a little.

Tokio wouldn't look at him. He cupped her face with his hands and forced her to look up. Her teary eyes were sad, but determined as she finally pushed away from him. He let her go and watched her sink to the floor.

"Make up your mind, Tokio," he snapped. Tokio flinched and he had to tamp down the desire to comfort her. It was difficult for him to be so harsh with the woman he loved, however unwisely. It was those very feelings that angered him so much earlier that he felt he had to teach her a lesson this night.

"I am not some fluffy lap dog you can play with and pet and then send away," he went on, kneeling before her and grabbing her shoulders. "You have led me along with your sighs and sidelong looks these past few weeks and I am certainly ready to collect what you have promised."

Tokio was nervously clenching and unclenching her hands in her lap, unsure of what to do. If she resisted too loudly then she risked waking the children and their nurse, asleep at the back of the house. The nurse was a good girl, but could hardly be expected to keep knowledge of such a scandal to herself.

Toshi was afraid now that he had overplayed his hand. Tokio seemed too afraid of him, ready to acquiesce in silence to protect Goro's standing. His mouth twisted in a bitter smile. "Your husband is an insufferable ass, yet you are desperate to protect him, aren't you?"

She jerked her head up and there was anger her face, replacing the resignation of a moment ago. He smiled a little in spite of himself. She wasn't the only foolish one here tonight. He needed to end this now.

He sat back and after a moment took her hands in his.

"You are lucky it is me you chose to flirt with, to invite into your home like this. Neighbors can be lead to think that I am merely friendly because of my connection to your husband. Goro himself may even allow himself to believe that."

Tokio opened her mouth say something, but he cut her off, wanting to get the words out before his own folly got the better of him.

"It was coincidence that you were also in the Music Society. I had only good intentions when I first got to know you. Frankly, I had wondered what sort of woman would marry a man like Goro Fujita."

"A silly one it seems," Tokio interrupted, but Toshi continued.

"I thought I was entertaining you, easing your solitude a little. I felt guilty because I make the assignments that send your husband away and . . ." he trailed off, realizing that he was babbling now.

He bowed low before her and then stood.

Tokio sat speechless as he walked to the door. Sliding it open he stepped out into the darkness and then turned back to look at her.

"I...I am sorry," she said, bowing. It was a completely inadequate response, but she had no other. Toshi accepted it with another small bow of his own and then strode away down the porch.

She heard the crunch of gravel when he stepped onto the walkway and then the creak of the gate opening and closing.

Tokio walked out onto the porch and sat down where she could see the gate.

Toshi's actions this evening had reminded her of her own culpability in her loneliness. All this time she had been waiting for Goro to come to her without ever reaching out to him herself.

Well tonight, he would not come home to a sleeping wife. However long she had to wait, they would be together.

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Author's Note: At the moment this is a one-shot, but I'm considering writing a second part from Goro's point of view. 


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